LUZ E SOMBRA ( ACORDAR PARA A VIDA)

Sou Clarice, tenho 45 anos e oito de felicidade! Foi assim que se apresentou em meu consultório essa mulher assustada e muito estressada, relatando a seguinte história:- Certa noite, acordei subitamente, numa escuridão total, parecia que tinha sido cortado o meu oxigênio, tamanha era a falta de ar que eu sentia. Sensação de morte! Corri em direção à janela mais próxima. Ambiente conhecido, fui me orientando pelo tato! Foi desesperador! Que alívio quando vislumbrei uma pequena claridade! A respiração foi voltando lentamente ao ritmo  normal e a taquicardia diminuindo lentamente. Passado esse momento terrível, o quadro mental de “sufoco”, não saia de minha mente. Angustiada, fiquei muito desestabilizada energeticamente!. Sensação de medo e insegurança, remontando noites, quando eu era criança em que minha mãe apagava as luzes do meu quarto na hora de dormir. “Sentia medo”. Cresci com esse quadro psicológico sem saber. Depois de adulta, emergiu essa sensação de sufoco. Foi ficando recorrente! Momento de ir para a cama  se tornou  tortura! Ficava cansada à exaustão tentando dormir! Comecei a fazer exercícios de respiração e alongamento. Isso de certa forma foi me aliviando. Concomitantemente ” Acordei” para a vida. Percebi o quanto estava infeliz! Questionei em tudo que estive me negando por todos esses anos! Na medida em que fui entrando mais em minha história, reconheci a auto sabotagem. Lembrei das queixas caladas, das humilhações que abafei dentro do peito. Pude sentir toda a intensidade de emoções doentias reprimidas, numa relação toxica! O quanto estava mascarando em nome do dinheiro toda a minha infelicidade! Traições que pensei estarem resolvidas. Que nada! Não. Não restava raiva alguma! Talvez indiferença disfarçada num sorriso falso. Só não estava mais apaixonada. Nem o amava como nos primeiros oito anos de nosso casamento! Viver com ele estava sendo como viver com um irmão! Sem tesão, sem confiança e quase sem brigas! Tinha me acomodado! Essa consciência despertou-me a vontade de recomeçar! Por isso estou aqui! Vim buscar ajuda!!! QUERO SER FELIZ! _   (ANA LÚCIA, TRINTA E NOVE ANOS E SEIS DIAS)!

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