AS IRMÃS! (REJEIÇÃO/INVEJA/PERDÃO)

Manuela nasceu quinze minutos antes que Gabriela: tão pequena diferença de tempo, tão grande diferença de personalidades. Nasceram de parto normal e rodeadas de muito amor. A mãe delas, Violeta, mulher sensível e muito afetiva, não cabia em si de tanta felicidade! Sentia-se como num conto de fadas. Tinha acabado de receber dos céus, dois lindos anjos saudáveis! Sempre narrava o fato de que, quando saiu do hospital fez questão de segurar as duas em seu colo, ao mesmo tempo. Tinha a preocupação de que nenhuma delas se sentisse rejeitada. Carlos, seu marido e pai das crianças, era “casca grossa” a seu ver, insensível. Grosseiro nos gestos e atitudes, demonstrando não ser o marido e nem o pai ideal, dessa família. Só se tornava um pouco mais macio, quando fazia sexo com Violeta. Ela já tinha se acostumado com essa situação! Os primeiros tempos, depois que as gêmeas nasceram, como é natural, foram muito difíceis para essa mãe de primeira viagem. Ela se perdia e se desgastava demais, tanto emocionalmente, quanto fisicamente.  Queria suprir tudo, principalmente para as meninas. “ESQUECEU DE SI PRÓPRIA”! Não se deu conta de seu tempo e nem de suas necessidades como mulher. Sabia que seu marido tinha casos com outras mulheres, mas, tentava não dar tanta importância. Disfarçava na frente das meninas. Chorava no travesseiro.  Noites de solidão! Essa situação durou a eternidade de longos doze anos! Nessa fase, as meninas,  pré adolescentes, já tinham se  contaminado por todo um clima familiar angustiante. Manuela, mais observadora, se tornou revoltada, rígida e extremamente ressentida. Gabriela, diferente da irmã, se construiu em uma pessoa mais serena, compreensiva e amorosa. Violeta não entendia o porque dessa diferença; afinal, ela se dedicou da mesma forma a seus “dois amores”. Próximo de completar treze anos de casamento, Carlos, pediu o divórcio! Foi um “DEUS NOS ACUDA”! A família se desestruturou de vez! Violeta estava acostumada com crises, mas nunca imaginou uma separação! Se desesperou! Tentou disfarçar e não deixar as meninas sofrerem. Gabriela, quando soube da separação, chorou muito! Ficou triste, mas entendeu que talvez fosse melhor para todos. Se afundou em leituras de livros emocionais. Buscou entender os sentimentos contraditórios que, muitas vezes, inundava a sua alma. Continuou seus estudos. Se apaixonou por psicologia e decidiu que seria psicóloga. Ainda na faculdade conheceu o amor de sua vida. Homem sensível, bem apessoado e de bom nível sócio- econômico, que a tratava como rainha. Escolheu um modelo oposto ao seu pai! Se tornou uma mulher equilibrada e feliz. Manuela, por sua vez, que sempre teve menos capacidade de se expressar emocionalmente, na época da separação de seus pais, não derramou uma lágrima sequer! Jamais quis tocar nesse assunto com ninguém. Nunca mais falou com o pai! Manuela se transformou numa moça agressiva, obesa, muito fechada e de mal com a vida. Compulsiva por doces, principalmente, chocolates! O tempo passou! Estava já com vinte e quatro anos e nunca tinha se apaixonado por ninguém. Violeta sofria muito em sentir a sua filha nesse estado lastimável e cada vez mais distante da irmã. Percebia a inveja crescente de Manuela em relação a Gabriela. Tentava ajudá-la, mas tudo em vão! Quanto mais o tempo passava, mais aumentava o desespero dessa mãe. Enquanto que para Gabriela o amor era o prato principal da vida, para Manuela, o alimento era o rancor e ressentimento, escondido em seu coração. Não buscou entender e nem perdoar o seu pai! Ficou com uma profunda sensação de abandono e rejeição, ao contrário de Gabriela que, há algum tempo, sempre que pode, almoça com ele. Tem até sentido que embaixo da “casca desse pai”, tem uma certa doçura! Violeta, não suportando mais perceber a auto-destruição de Manuela, há quatro meses, marcou uma consulta num psicoterapeuta bem indicado nessas questões! Conseguiu que Manuela aceitasse o tratamento. Há dois aspectos importantes que ela está cuidando dentro de si – “AUTO- PERDÃO E O PERDÃO”! Entender que movimento destruidor é esse que transformou sua primeira natureza, lhe negando a capacidade de amar e ser feliz! Violeta? Está começando a florir novamente!!!

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