Saudades. Quantas saudades! O peito dói muito. Parece que vou enfartar. Você não devia ter feito o que fez. Tão insensível, meu Deus. Onde estava a paixão forte que dizia sentir? Bem no momento em que eu estava quase voando de tanta felicidade. Você não sabe perdoar! Decididamente, você não me merece! Me arrependi profundamente de ter ido ao baile das máscaras. Naquele dia, eu tinha me programado para sair com o você, embora não sentisse nenhuma atração. Tenho que ser sincera! Estava muito envolvida com o meu ex namorado! Dada a sua insistência, iria experimentar conhecer você melhor. Todos comentavam da sua paixão por mim. Aconselhavam-me a lhe dar uma chance. Você tinha uma ótima reputação. Pensei bem. Não custava nada. Me sentia tão carente! Tinha perdido um grande amor! Estava ainda de luto. Eu carente e você oferecendo amor! Na verdade eu tinha até um pouco de pena de rejeitar você. Juro que não pretendia cancelar o nosso cinema daquela noite. A Rita, minha melhor amiga, tinha que aparecer com o convite do baile do clube. Bem no dia do nosso encontro? Fiquei numa dúvida danada. Acho que fui infantil. Verdade que eu já tinha confirmado o nosso encontro. Você, exagerado, me mandou um buquê de rosas vermelhas. lembra? Sei que sua expectativa era imensa. Por outro lado, também, há muito tempo, eu sonhava em ir à um baile de máscaras. Nunca tinha ido! Num ímpeto, resolvi cancelar o nosso encontro. Inventei uma enxaqueca fortíssima! Hoje, acho que fui egoísta e cruel. Não pensei duas vezes, corri para alugar uma fantasia. Consegui a de “Dançarina sem rosto”! Era linda. De um tecido leve e colorido. A máscara cobria o rosto todo. Não dava pra ser reconhecida, de jeito algum! No baile, me senti exuberante e misteriosa. Uma sensação muito nova. Ali eu pude viver minhas fantasias, livremente. A orquestra tocando músicas incríveis. Todos os ritmos . Pessoas descontraídas. Muita animação. Muita alegria. Num intervalo da orquestra, fui me sentar sozinha numa mesa de canto. Distraída, ouço atrás de mim uma voz rouca e quente se convidando a sentar-se ali, comigo. Virei a cabeça e dei de cara com um “zorro”! Não dava pra reconhecer quem estava por trás daquela máscara. Gostei de seu atrevimento.”Gosto de homens com atitudes”! Começamos a conversar sobre assuntos intrigantes. Parecia que a gente se conhecia há muito tempo. Enquanto conversávamos, ele acariciava as minhas mãos com uma delicadeza que nunca senti. Fiquei imaginando quem estava por traz daquela fantasia. Quem seria? Apenas a boca e os olhos davam para serem vistos. Me pareceram conhecidos. Estava confusa com tantos coquetéis! Atrevidamente ele aproximou o seu rosto do meu e me presenteou com um beijo delicioso. Me arrepiei! Ali, eu me apaixonei. Ficamos juntos o resto da festa. Dançamos e rimos muito. Parecia um sonho! Ele não sabia o que fazer para me agradar. Eu feliz, me sentia nas nuvens. Combinamos de tirar as máscaras só quando acabasse o baile. Pronto. Fim de de festa! Não acreditei. Não podia ser verdade! Pensei estar embriagada. Tendo visões. Bem ali, em minha frente, estava o Breno. “De carne e osso”! O cara apaixonado que eu rejeitei tanto! Fiquei perplexa. Feliz. Confusa. A minha voz sumiu. A dele não! Não sei como alguém pode mudar tanto em segundos! Fiquei assustada. Expressou uma raiva e agressividade inesperada. Jogando fogo no olhar, sadicamente, me disse em tom sarcástico: Você é uma mentirosa. Falsa. Cruel! Essa era a sua dor de cabeça? Não sei como me interessei por você! Eu te idealizei. Me fez de palhaço. Realmente você me desencantou! Nunca mais quero te ver! Saiu pisando forte. Depois disso ele sumiu. Tentei me desculpar. Ele nunca atendeu meus telefonemas. Aquele encontro no baile, foi tão intenso. Despertou em mim muitos sentimentos. Não tem explicação. Fiquei apaixonada. Envergonhada. Confusa e com uma imensa saudade. Parece que fui vítima de uma bruxaria! Tentei contato novamente. Nada! Descobri, através de amigos, que ele foi uma criança adotada e teve muitos traumas desde o nascimento. Nasceu de uma mãe adolescente de dezesseis anos . Ela entregou o BRENO para adoção e nunca mais se soube dela. Ele foi adotado por Carla. Por uns tempos tudo correu bem. Aos poucos Carla foi mudando muito. Começou a andar com más companhias a se drogar e se prostituir. Saia quase todas as noites. Pouco se importando com Breno. Ele preenchia o tempo criando personagens imaginários, como companhia. Carla dizia a ele que trabalhava de garçonete num bar no centro da cidade. Isso perdurou por anos. O povo comenta! Quando Breno se tornou adolescente, ouviu que o trabalho de Carla era a prostituição. Ficou transtornado com tudo! Não perdoou a mentira. Transformou-se num jovem revoltado e muito carente. Assim que deu, foi morar com um amigo. Começou a estudar como um louco. De algum jeito queria resgatar a sua identidade e honra. Desenvolveu aversão a mentiras! Foi a forma que achou pra se defender da dor de ser enganado. Já bastava a sua mãe genética que o doou como se fosse um “pacote de bolachas”. Levou a vida a sério. Estudou muito. Ao mesmo tempo que se tornou muito rígido em alguns aspectos, ficou também, extremamente, sensível e humano. Formou-se em assistência social e foi trabalhar com crianças carentes. Nunca perdoou as “suas duas mães”! Intolerante às mentiras. Quando ouvi todo esse drama, compreendo Breno. As coisas fizeram sentido. Fiquei mais apaixonada ainda. Com muita vontade de grudar nele! Deus, acho que é castigo. As festas de fim de ano estão chegando. Será que devo? Essa dúvida me mata. Cadê o meu celular? Alô? DEIXE O SEU RECADO!!!
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