AMOR BANDIDO! ( EMOCÃO AUTO DESTRUTIVA).

Sentada em minha varanda, tomando uma taça de vinho tinto, para enganar a tristeza, observo a imensidão do mar. Gaivotas voando livremente aproveitam o movimento dos ventos de outono. Os barcos sumindo de vista. A brisa morna aquecendo a minha pele, me convidando à preguiça. Preguiça gostosa. Não fazer nada. Nada mesmo! Deixar o corpo conduzir os desejos que emergem das vísceras. Observo pessoas caminhando. Outras correndo pelo calçadão da praia. Buscando oxigenar as células. Eu ali, parada em minha preguiça. Isso me dá certa culpa! Sou profissional da área da saúde e sei bem da necessidade que o corpo tem de se movimentar para reequilibrar a energia. Decido não ter culpa. Entrego-me às sensações. Fecho os olhos e me deixo levar. O sol vai aquecendo suavemente a minha pele. Os poros recebendo esse calor invadindo todos os pontos do meu organismo. Estou me sentindo meio entorpecida. Em meio a essa sensação, ouço o som de um navio passando e o  barulho das ondas cochichando histórias para a areia. Fico imaginando que histórias serão essas? Quantas dores. Quantos amores perdidos! Minha mente vive ancorando em temas angustiantes. Ando fugindo da tristeza, como louca. Agora me acontece essa! Não adianta. Esses sons vão me envolvendo e despertando momentos de uma paixão intensa vivida com você, Carlos. “Grande desilusão de minha vida”! Como eu sofri em suas mãos! De repente, retorna uma dor absurda em meu peito. Desesperada. tento fugir desviando os pensamentos. Não consigo! Já nem ouço mais o som das ondas. Só o som da sua voz invade todos os meus sentidos. Essa voz que sabia me enlouquecer. Quente. Energética. Tantas loucuras. Tantos desatinos. Promessas de paixão eterna. Quantas saudades meu Deus! Você é cruel. Não foi capaz de me perdoar uma única vez! Eu soube te perdoar tanto! Dava sempre uma nova chance para o nosso amor. Mas da última vez eu bem que te avisei. Não iria mais suportar a humilhação de ser traída. Você não levou a sério. Novamente me desrespeitou. Estava me sentindo sem identidade nessa relação doente. Quando incorpora esse seu jeito cínico e violento, que só você sabe ter, fica repugnante. Assustador. Tenho vontade de esganar você. Carlos a sua sedução acaba ali! Juro que não o reconheço. Muitas vezes pensei em ir dar queixa na delegacia da mulher. Desisti. Minhas amigas sempre diziam que eu parecia “MARIA SEM VERGONHA”. Perdoava sempre. Bastava você vir com essa sua voz dizendo coisas que eu queria ouvir. Minhas pernas bambeavam. Entregava-me ali mesmo. Estava enfeitiçada! Até nisso você era canalha. Sabia que esse era o meu fraco! Há algum tempo já estava concluindo que você não mudaria. Precisava sofrer na pele o preço de suas atitudes imaturas e inconsequentes. “Machão inveterado”, isso é você! Quer respeito, mas não dá. Não sabe o que é amar. Naquela tarde em que você chegou embriagado e com uma nota fiscal de motel no bolso da camisa, não briguei. Congelei o meu amor. Friamente arquitetei uma vingança à altura. Foi a primeira vez que resolvi dar um troco perfeito. Bem dado. Na semana seguinte sai com o Antônio, o seu rival dos tempos de colégio. Você detestava que ele me paquerasse, lembra? Queria que sentisse um pouco da dor que eu tinha guardado no peito, por todos esses anos. Fui ao mesmo motel em que você  foi! Precisava sentir o gosto de estar lá também. Desta vez a sua voz rouca e sensual não teve a expressão de sempre.  Confesso que nunca pensei que você reagisse assim. Nunca presenciei tanta fúria em um homem! Colocar um detetive atrás de mim? “Quem deve, teme”, né Carlos? Parecia uma fera ferida querendo atacar. Confesso que fiquei com medo. Pedi perdão. Tantas vezes te perdoei! Nada adiantou. Fiquei com a alma lavada. Coração partido. Nunca mais o vi. A vingança não alimentou o meu coração.  Nesses últimos dois meses, sonho acordada com você. Pra saciar a dor, durmo todas as noites ouvindo “YOU ARE MY LOVE” que você gravou, cantando no meu celular. Me pego aqui na varanda inundada em emoções confusas. Ambivalentes. Respiro fundo. O forte cheiro de maresia me arranca desse estado. Fico em pé, e percebo como o tempo passou. No horizonte, um por de sol lindo. A campainha toca:  Maria, a professora de yoga chegou. Vou tentar deletar das entranhas qualquer vestígio desse amor bandido. MARIA está me ensinando a ouvir o SOM SAUDÁVEL DO MEU CORAÇÃO!

331 comentários em “AMOR BANDIDO! ( EMOCÃO AUTO DESTRUTIVA).”

  1. I was pretty pleased to discover this site. I need to to thank you for your time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every part of it and I have you book-marked to see new things on your web site.

  2. Hi, I do believe this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may revisit once again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.

  3. After I originally commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I recieve four emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!

  4. Greetings from Florida! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out
    your site on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the
    information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
    I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my phone
    .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow,
    fantastic blog!

  5. You’re so awesome! I don’t suppose I have read a single thing like that before. So good to discover somebody with a few genuine thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with some originality!

  6. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who has been doing a little homework on this. And he in fact bought me lunch simply because I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to talk about this issue here on your blog.

  7. This is very fascinating, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to searching for more of your excellent post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks|

  8. Hi, I do think your web site could possibly be having internet browser compatibility issues. Whenever I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Aside from that, great website!

  9. Wonderful items from you, man. I have be mindful your
    stuff previous to and you’re simply too fantastic.
    I really like what you’ve got here, certainly like what you’re saying and the best way by which you are saying it.
    You’re making it enjoyable and you continue to care for to stay it sensible.
    I can’t wait to learn much more from you. This is actually
    a terrific web site.

  10. You are so awesome! I don’t suppose I’ve truly read something like that before. So great to discover another person with some original thoughts on this subject matter. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is required on the web, someone with a bit of originality!

  11. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you ought to publish more on this issue, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people don’t speak about these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

  12. A fascinating discussion is worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you need to publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but usually people don’t talk about these issues. To the next! Cheers!!

  13. Aw, this was a very good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to generate a very good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

  14. I’ve been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site. Reading this info So i am happy to convey that I have a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I most certainly will make sure to do not forget this web site and give it a look regularly.

  15. After I initially commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the same comment. Is there a way you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!

  16. You actually make it appear so easy with your presentation but I to find this matter to be really one thing which I believe I would never understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely extensive for me. I am looking ahead in your next submit, I’ll try to get the grasp of it!

  17. Can I simply say what a relief to search out somebody who really is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know find out how to carry an issue to gentle and make it important. Extra people have to read this and understand this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre no more well-liked since you undoubtedly have the gift.

  18. Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossips and internet and this is actually frustrating. A good blog with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for keeping this site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

  19. I’m commenting to make you understand what a perfect discovery my wife’s child found browsing your webblog. She even learned lots of issues, including what it’s like to have an amazing teaching mindset to get certain people with ease learn various specialized things. You actually exceeded visitors’ expectations. I appreciate you for imparting those insightful, trusted, educational not to mention unique tips about your topic to Sandra.

  20. Can I simply say what a aid to seek out someone who really knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You definitely know how you can bring a problem to mild and make it important. Extra individuals must read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you positively have the gift.

  21. Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your web-site is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you’ve on this site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What a perfect website.

  22. Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to understand so much about this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I believe that you can do with some p.c. to force the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.

  23. Have you ever thought about writing an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an email.

  24. I’m impressed, I must say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you could have hit the nail on the head. Your concept is outstanding; the issue is something that not sufficient people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very completely happy that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for one thing relating to this.

  25. I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

  26. You actually make it seem really easy along with your presentation but I to find this topic to be actually one thing that I think I might never understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely vast for me. I am taking a look ahead on your subsequent post, I will attempt to get the hang of it!

  27. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.

  28. Howdy! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this problem. If you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!

  29. That is the right weblog for anyone who wants to seek out out about this topic. You understand a lot its nearly arduous to argue with you (not that I really would need…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, simply great!

  30. It is the best time to make some plans for the long run and it is time to be happy. I’ve learn this publish and if I may I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you could write next articles relating to this article. I want to read even more issues approximately it!

  31. Attractive portion of content. I just stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to say that I acquire actually loved account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing on your feeds and even I fulfillment you get entry to persistently fast.

  32. Admiring the commitment you put into your blog and detailed information you offer. It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material. Wonderful read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  33. Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such great information being shared freely out there.

Deixe uma resposta

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado.